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the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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