And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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