I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
