I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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