put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
