honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
