Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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