u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He did a backflip because drugs
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
