how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Blood and glitter go together right?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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