I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I understand Curling. That high.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
