So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
