So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So apparently I’m into choking now
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