Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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