Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
