No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
The air taste purple.
Randomize
