You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
