Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
