she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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