The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize