just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
