How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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