whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
