i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
