Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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