Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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