I think scott just propositioned me for sex
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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