Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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