somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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