perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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