3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
