In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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