If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This toilet bowl is my home.
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