Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
