In the future we'll all be gay
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i now understand why vodka
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize