Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My ass is underappreciated
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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