how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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