whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
