I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize