I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
