Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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