Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
