I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
