were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
