Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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