You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
