I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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