so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Alive.
So much puke
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
