I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
