If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
