And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
