I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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