whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
