Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
