Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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