sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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