In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
