I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
